Updated: Nov 5, 2018
Everyone is so unique. Some people have a big tank and can slam on the gas and go before they need to refill. Others need to refill daily, weekly or monthly. Occasionally our society can do some mom shaming if you choose to be alone and get refilled. Throw off the mom guilt, enjoy a few hours of freedom and come back refreshed and a relaxed woman. I am a BETTER mom and wife when I take care of me too. If my tank is running out of gas I generally tend to be much more cranky and quick to anger. Things I personally do:
1- Plan 2 dates a month with your spouse. It can mean getting a babysitter and going out, or playing board games by candlelight once you’ve tucked in your kids and threatened them with a “you’re busted if you get out of bed” vibe.
2- Once a week I get a babysitter while my big kids are at school. I have THREE hours of quiet to myself. I will usually listen to an audio book and clean my house for 2 hours, then read a book on the couch for 1 hour. It totally fills my tank and my house is clean and fresh.
3- Once a year a do an annual girl trip with my high school best friend. It’s a fun 2 day 3 night getaway. I am always ready to see and play with my kids when I get back
4- I wake up an hour before my kids. I drink coffee in total silence, read my Bible, write my game plan for the day, then most mornings I turn on a youtube video or beach body on demand and do a workout before the kids are up.
5- Know yourself. Don’t wait until you’re having a nervous breakdown to go be alone. Don’t wait until you shout at your kids during a meltdown to realize you need a time out. Figure out how to maintain and balance YOU and YOUR LIFE. The once a week morning free is usually what I need to stay sane. That way when Joel gets home from work, we enjoy our evening as a family together instead of me only relying on him for my alone time.
My FAVORITE little luxuries-
- 6am coffee shop date with myself for an hour on a Saturday morning
- New protein powder (vital proteins from Costco is your best deal and whole30 approved)
- Scrubby from LUSH (makes an amazing gift too…exfoliant and your skin is SO soft)
- Bathbombs from LUSH
- A new face mask
- Under eye collagen masks my favorite is Grace & Stella Anti-Wrinkle + Energizing Gold Collagen Eye Masks
- Epsom salts and I add in my own essential oils for my bath
- A bath as hot as the water will go with a glass of wine or Kombucha, candles, lights off, bath salts or bath bomb, silence and an eye mask. BEST COMBOS
- New jogger sweatpants
Brene Browns book Braving the Wilderness said “you must inhale in order to exhale.” Take a minute. Inhale. Slow down. Take care of you. How’s your legs feeling, your gut, your head? Move your body, nourish your body, get sleep, drink water and take care of your soul. Fill your tank daily so you can pour out to others. Inhale so that you can exhale.